When the Holiday is Over

Forget the blue skies and the swimming pool
Your desk is all ready so don’t act like a fool.

Forget the pavement cafes and Mademoiselles
As your computer fires up with a thousand e-mails
Enough to numb the pain
And the nagging desire for a glass of red wine;
Act cool.

Briefings, meetings and folders to review
Memoranda and consultations to plough through

Forget the camembert and French bread
Close the door on the plat du jour
Its not even lunch and I can’t resist
The thought of a cool aperitif;
As if . .

Revised protocols need to be sorted
And I see the new software is unsupported

I’ll enjoy my lunch in the works canteen
A ham sandwich and a cup of tea
And the memory of a French bistro won’t even arise
All bustle and chatter and joie de vivre
No, not for me . .

Does size really matter?

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Well, actually it does, especially when we are talking about paperbacks. Paperbacks that we want to stuff in our beach bags for a good holiday read, or the novel you have in with your sandwiches for a lunch time read.

When the parcel came from http://www.createspace.com I was over the moon and couldn’t wait to look. Pity I’d cocked up on the self publishing front as that guy from the Reginald Perrin sit com might say.

Oh well. My book comes complete with a notes section at the back to explain some distinctly 1977 terms, TV shows and some now forgotten events so while I was trying to keep the page numbering intact it looks like I’ve made the book too big!

Oh well, back to the drawing board!

Saturday Night, a bar called ‘The Playground’ and that first pint . .

As a younger man Saturday night was everything to me and my friends. Nights out, beer, music and the ritual ‘chatting up’ of girls was our ‘raison d’etre’

In my book ‘Floating in Space’ a lot of the action takes place in bars and pubs and one of my favourite places in late seventies Manchester was the ‘Playground’, a disco bar on Oxford street. Here’s an extract from the book where I introduce the venue;

The main venue that night, and on many other Saturday nights like it, was the ‘Playground’, a small disco bar on Oxford Rd in the town centre. Flickering multi- coloured spotlights rotated across the red carpeted room, which, on Fridays and Saturdays was generally packed. It had a small dance floor sunk low like a pit, where people up on the raised bar level could look down at the gyrating girls, and where also, on week day lunchtimes, a topless dancer appeared at the stroke of one o’clock to translate the soul and disco music of the time into pulsating physical motion, the eyes of jaded office workers glued to her as she did so.

My friend ‘Matty’ Edwards and I used to meet up in the Salisbury, by Oxford Rd station, have a few pints and a bit of a natter to any Regal Insurance cronies who we might find there, then make the short walk to the Playground. There was a paltry fifty pence charge to get in, the solitary bouncer was silent, but not unpleasant, and the DJ, who always began the night with ‘Loves Theme’ by the Love Unlimited Orchestra, played alternate sessions of rock, disco, and chart music. We were both mad about Jenny, the barmaid. She was lovely. She had a kind of round, open face, framed by thick blonde hair and her skin was a creamy white. She served us Worthington ‘E’ and we melted into the hubbub of people on their Saturday night out while the music of the seventies drifted through us.
Matty was tall, he had lazy, rather hayfevered eyes, and a biggish nose over thin lips. His brown hair was short and untidy and he was smart, but had a sort of ‘middle of the road’ taste in clothes.
“Jenny’s looking gorgeous tonight” he told me over his pint of Worthington’s.
We were propped up at the bar at a convenient spot where we could eye up any possible female talent, and cast a fond eye over Jenny’s appealing form.
“You’re not wrong mate” I agreed. “I wouldn’t mind getting a grip of that myself.”
I caught Jenny’s eye and ordered two more pints of Worthington ‘E’. It wasn’t a great drink but we were tuned into it now for the rest of the evening, and anyway, I hadn’t as yet developed any clearly defined tastes in beer. The first pint I ever ordered myself was a pint of mild, and that was because I had nervously entered a Cheshire country pub after a long cycle ride and hesitatingly asked for a pint of ‘beer’.
“A beer?” asked the barmaid.
“Yes,” I replied, “A pint, please.”
“A pint of what?”

I realised, uncomfortably, that something more was required. I had thought that ‘a pint of beer’ would have been enough, but what the barmaid wanted to know was did I want bitter, or mild, or lager even? My first tentative forays into the world of the alcoholic drink were with my friend Mike Larini and it was always he who had done the ordering. What did he ask for, I thought? I couldn’t remember but down the bar the faint voice of an old man asking for half of mild drifted along to me, and so I went on to drink mild. Later I changed to bitter, and even now I was currently considering another change as someone had given me the cheerful news that bitter ‘rots your guts’. Perhaps it had been that eternal pessimist Matty Edwards with his inside knowledge of beer. His father was a Didsbury publican, and Matty’s drink changed from pub to pub. Sometimes it was lager, sometimes bitter, but here, in the Playground, it was that now long departed brew, Worthington ‘E’.


You can read more about that night out in either the kindle or paperback version of my book available at amazon. Click the icon below for more details.

New writing

Its hard work getting your work published!

Well, you might know that all ready but if you’re new to the publishing game you might have thought -like me- that after so many rejections (actually three) its time to self publish. I’ve used the easy option at amazon.co.uk and started off with a kindle book and now I’m waiting for the proof to come through for the paperback version. Easy? Actually yes, pretty easy. the thing is I thought foolishly that that was it! Woof, there it is, large as life on the amazon kindle page, now sit back and wait for the sales and the royalties to come piling in. No, no, no. eight days later and there has been one sale and that was one of my old friends who was doing a sort of mercy buy to make me feel better. No, its not enough just to self publish, you need heat, lots of heat on your product to make people buy it.

One difficult thing when self publishing is the genre. Click on the drop down box and choose a category. Fiction, yes, easy. Action and adventure, not really. Coming of age? yes, in a way. Humour? yes it’s humorous but not Spike Milligan. Adult issues, yes but is it a memoir? Is it this is it that? I actually wanted to file my book under kitchen sink drama but no, no such category exists! Well, there’s always general fiction I suppose!

On twitter I have become someone who in the past I have always hated -yes, one of those people who friend me because I tweeted about a new cd I bought then suddenly I got 50 tweets from cd shops and record stores. Now I am tweeting and plugging my kindle book endlessly on twitter and just to further annoy people; here’s my kindle book link!

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