Yes, I know I’m harping on about it but ‘Floating In Space’ is still free to download until the 22nd January!
Not sure if I’m not I’ve obsessed with animoto at the moment but here’s another promo video . .
Floating In Space -free on kindle
Free until 22nd January!
Happiness is Blogging in Lanzarote
I think I’ve finally sorted out my scheduling issues as my last post was published (successfully) on a Saturday in line with my new posting philosophy; a new blog every Saturday! Anyway, I arrived in Lanzarote on the third of January for a long six week break so I’ll have plenty of time to write!
Recently I applied for a managerial promotion and even though I was unsuccessful I did get the opportunity for a temporary promotion as my own manager had been seconded elsewhere. The extra money came in very handy over Christmas but my blogs have suffered. When it’s a little quiet at work I always take the time to try and write something, not always a complete blog but at least something that I can use and work into a blog at a later date. As a manager though that whole concept went right out the window because there was always something to be done; something that needed sorting out. I did get a big bonus in my pay packet but believe me, I really did work for it. Anyway, plenty of time now to relax in the warmth of Lanzarote, contemplate where I went wrong with my manager application and to work hard at blogging and promoting my book, Floating In Space.
I do hate the cold which is one reason why I’ve flown away from the cold of the UK in January. Here in Lanzarote it’s like an English summer’s day; warm but not too warm. Dinners outside on the patio, barbecues, and a lovely warm heated pool. Getting here though wasn’t that easy. Blackpool airport closed down recently which was only ten minutes away from us so instead we had to trek to Manchester Airport, that huge bustling place a good hour’s drive away. Checking in our suitcase wasn’t so bad but the hassle of passport control and the hand luggage check; what a nightmare. We’d left a bottle of water in our bag so that came back to haunt us, my laptop and Liz’s I-pad (which have to be x-rayed separately of course) ended up in one area and our ‘suspect’ case in another surrounded by security people who then emptied my water away and squashed my sandwiches! Not happy! Al-Qaeda have a lot to answer for!
Anyway, getting back to Lanzarote, did I hear people say –six weeks in Lanzarote?
Yep. Six weeks away from the cold and hopefully at the end of those six weeks, that will be six weeks’ worth of blogging, of promoting my book, of e-commerce and networking and even hopefully some good work gone into the follow up to Floating In Space. In my first week I’ve done a huge amount of networking and almost trebled my twitter followers. For a newcomer to self publishing it’s a pretty hard learning curve and there are plenty of blogs out there telling you how to get more followers, how to get more likes and so on. Click here to see a pretty interesting one but at the end of the day it’s you who has to do the work: You who has to make your blog successful.
I’ve noticed on twitter there are plenty of people and companies claiming they can tweet your book and get you a guaranteed thousand followers or more but it all comes at a price. Is it worth it? Well, if it brings in followers and they read your blog and buy your book or whatever product you are selling then great, but if not then that’s more money spent on a wasted avenue. Here’s an interesting post by an author who hit number one on the amazon best seller list and seemed to make his major breakthrough by showcasing two books together and alternating each book as a freebie download over a set period of time. Looks like it worked for him.
Happiness is a warm gun, or so said the Beatles on the white album but for me after a morning writing it’s a glass of red wine on a warm summer’s evening, my favourite salad (onion and tomato) and something cooking away on the barbecue (courtesy of Liz) or the prospect of a short walk down to the marina at Playa Blanca for an evening meal.
Anyway, that’s enough for now, think it’s time for a swim!
If you enjoyed this blog, why not buy my book! Click the links at the top of the page to buy or for more information
Floating In Space: Free offer!
Anyone who knows me will tell you I never give anything away free, so just to prove them wrong you can download the Kindle version of Floating In Space free from today until the 22nd January! Click the picture below to take you straight to the amazon.co.uk page!
Floating In space is a novel set in Manchester in 1977 and if you like kitchen sink dramas like ‘Saturday Night and Sunday Morning’ and ‘A Kind Of Loving’ then you’ll love this book too.
If you remember the seventies I hope you’ll perhaps enjoy a trip down memory lane, if you’re younger then you’ll be pleased to know life did exist before mobile phones and the Internet were invented and if you’re familiar with Manchester then I hope you’ll recognise some of the locations, particularly the pubs and clubs mentioned.
Here’s me talking about the book on you tube:
7 Crazy Calls to the Bus Information Line!
Original image courtesy pixabay.com
I’ve written before about my friend and colleague Mister Nasty. We worked in the GM buses control room years ago and Nasty was the man to pass your calls to if your had any problem callers, he’d soon sort them out!
Photo Credit: North Wales Police via Compfight cc
I was rummaging through a box of old stuff ages ago and I found a list he’d made of silly calls! Scroll down to find some of the better ones! I should add firstly that the picture to the right came from a web page that provides royalty free pictures and in no way resembles the GM Buses enquiry room. Imagine a scruffy office full of cigarette smoke, old newspapers and discarded tea cups and you’re on the way to getting the general idea! We worked with a bunch of timetables clipped into big files and all in alphabetical order and a big bus route map on our desks then one day you’d get a call asking for a bus to Rochdale so you’d open the R for Rochdale folder and find B for Bolton because someone, usually the person sat killing themselves laughing opposite, had re-arranged your timetables during your tea break!
Seated next to me was Dave with a perpetual cigarette in his mouth. (As you can tell this was the early nineties, just before all this politically correct non smoking stuff!) Across from me was Mister Nasty and then Angela and Katie who spent most of the shift chatting to either each other or their friends. On the other side was Camilla whose nickname was PMT and could easily go off on a complete wobbler depending on the time of the month. Jeff, a pleasant enough chap who had lost his job as a driver due to some unexplained medical condition was next. Last of all and sat at the end next to Jeff was Norm, my best friend on the team. Norm was a nice guy but you had to be on the ball with him because if you weren’t he’d pull some trick on you like dialling in on an outside line and pretend to be a customer and then start an argument with you or, like he once did, pretend to be a member of the public who had put a carpet on a bus then followed on a bicycle but the bus was too fast and got away from him! Yes, you had me going then Norm, where ever you are these days!
Dave, the perpetual smoker, was a dour, straight to the point sort of guy. He’d get a call about a bus to Stockport from Manchester and he’d quickly reply, “The 192 service from Piccadilly sir, every ten minutes starting from 07.30 in the morning.” Then if you had nothing else to ask he’d give you the chop, job done and was ready for the next call.
PMT was slightly different. She’d answer the call by saying, “nice day for a trip to Stockport. Are you going to the market? Oh it’s a really good market there, and it’s all under cover in case the weather turns bad . .” And she’d go on and on.
One day, after a really busy session, I think it was a bank holiday or something, PMT must have been feeling really pleased with herself because she asked the inspector who had taken the most calls. The inspector that day was a really nice guy called ‘leave it wi’ me’ because if you ever asked him to sort anything out for you, he’d reply ‘leave it wi’ me’ and of course, never do anything. On this day he asked us all to hang about for a minute while he asked the ancient computer to throw up the figures. PMT was sure she had taken the most calls but it turned out to be Dave, yes dour Dave who answered the question then cut straight to the next call while PMT was still chatting. Well, PMT let off the most fearsome screaming wobbler, told ‘leave it wi’ me’ he didn’t know his ‘arse from his elbow’ and stormed off leaving the rest of us in a fit of laughter. I didn’t stop laughing until Normy got the beers in at the pub over the road!
Anyway, as promised, here’s a few snippets from Nasty’s list:
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “Can you speak up? I’m partially sighted.”
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “My dog got on the 192 at Stockport. Has he got off at Hazel Grove yet?”
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “Can I use a birthday card as proof of age?”
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “My boyfriend has left his trousers and underpants on one of your buses!”
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “What time are the buses to Manchester from Roe Green on a Sunday?”
GM Operator: “They are 15 minutes past the hour at Roe Green post office.”
Caller: “They can’t be!”
GM Operator: “Why not?”
Caller: “The post office is closed on Sundays!”
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “What time is the night bus to Pilsworth?”
GM Operator: “Sorry, we don’t do a night bus to Pilsworth.”
Caller: Well, how much is the fare then?
–
GM operator: “Hello GM Buses.”
Caller: “What’s the fare to Oldham for a normal person?”
If you liked this post, why not buy my book! Click the links at the top of the page to buy or for more information.
My 10 Best Posts of 2014
Well, 2014. There it was -gone!
This has been my first year as a regular blogger and it’s gone reasonably well. I don’t seem to have enticed thousands of followers to my pages -yet! But I live in hope. I’ve got a good following and I really do like writing and becoming a regular writer has helped me in my craft. I’ve improved as a writer and I’m starting to think like a writer.
I started blogging so that I could plug my book, ‘Floating In Space.‘ It’s a novel set in Manchester in the late seventies, actually 1977 and it’s based on my own experiences from those days. It’s a nostalgic novel based on memories of pubs, bars, girls and the nightlife of Manchester in the seventies. Thrown into that is a heavy dose of fiction mixed up with some serious reflections and we’re left with what I hope is a pretty entertaining story. If you were given a kindle for Christmas why not treat yourself to the kindle version!
Anyway, back to my ten favourite blogs. Here they are in order of publishing.
(10) Here’s the first one: What Do French People do?
(9) Another favourite is this one: If Only I’d Gotten in the Taxi! Yes, If only I had and maybe I could have become a Channel Four documentary director!
(8) Buses, Nicknames and the Scaremonger! Another true story and one day I must write more about Mr Nasty!
(7) Marlon Brando, Texts, and Extraordinary Behaviour!
(6) Catchphrases, pub friends, and Big Steve. Big Steve was a good friend and the last time I saw him was in the pub at Christmas. A big, strong, jovial guy, I would never have guessed that this was the last time I would ever see him.
(5) The Sound Barrier and my inflight Canine Friend! Never go flight training with a dog on board the aircraft!
(4) Childhood, Hoodies, and a Shaggy Dog Story! Makes me laugh just to think about this one!
(3) Competitions and Getting Even With Your Brother. (Well, he had it coming!)
(2) Mr Todd and the Sound of that elusive next Blog. Sometimes it’s hard to get the ideas coming. This one came to me after some hard graft at the keyboard. Should have saved it for my Christmas blog really, it brings those long ago Christmases back to life!
(1) The day the cat Wars started! You wouldn’t think feeding next door’s cat would cause so much trouble!
More about ‘Floating In Space’
Had a few cock ups on the blog scheduling front lately which is why my last blog about Jason King didn’t go out on que but it’s available now, just click here!
The reason behind this blog, apart from indulging my love of writing is really to promote my self published book ‘Floating In Space’. It’s available from www.amazon.co.uk where you’ll find a really good review of the book if you’re sort of wavering whether to buy or not. If you’re expecting some kind person to buy you a kindle for Christmas then why not try the kindle edition!
Anyway, here’s some more video of me talking about the book:
What your Mother never told you about Jason King’s tie
Like many people I’ve got reminders and bookmarks all over my digital life both on and off the internet. I got hooked on e-bay some years ago, had a big buying spree then gradually settled down and instead of buying anything and everything began to for look for things I’m interested in. I get e-mail alerts about many things; books, motor sport memorabilia, and so on and a while ago I got an alert about a DVD box set I’d fancied for a long while. It was Department ‘S’, the TV series that introduced Jason King (remember him?) to the world. Department S was made in 1969 and was produced by ITC, a company founded by TV mogul Lew Grade and the show was the brainchild of Monty Berman and Dennis Spooner who together made a string of action and adventure series in the sixties and seventies like The Saint, Randall and Hopkirk, The Baron, The Champions and a spin-off from Department S, Jason King. All these series were shot like feature films on 35mm film and that is the reason why they look shiny and new today, available on DVD box sets.
Jason King
Jason King was played by Peter Wyngarde and Wyngarde used all his own clothes in his portrayal of the character. In the late sixties and early seventies ties were becoming bigger, trousers and jacket lapels were flaring and Peter Wyngarde brought this all to the TV screen with his characterisation.
I was a school kid in 1969 and we kids all loved Jason King and his flamboyant outfits and we went out of our way to get a giant tie knot, just like the one Jason had in ‘Department S.’ Most of the kids got the big knot by tying their ties way down at the fat end of the tie making their ties short but at least with a big knot. I got some help with my tie from an unexpected source: my Mum!
We were watching Department S one day and I was wishing out loud for a big fat tie like that and she said to me “You could make one yourself. It’s easy.”
“Easy?” I said. “How?”
“Well, all you need is another tie to go inside the first one and make it bigger.” Sounds good I thought but how do you get one tie inside another? My Mum showed me how with a big safety-pin! What you had to do was get your second tie, the one that needs to go inside the other, pin the safety-pin to it and then you can thread it through the other one, manipulating it along with the safety-pin which you can feel through the material.
I dug out an old tie and threaded it through my school tie, took out the safety-pin and then tied my tie in the usual way. Result; one huge knot that Jason King himself would be pleased with.
The next day I went into school wearing my new fashionable tie and half the school –or so it seemed to me- were stunned by my trendy new school tie. Where did I get it from? How did I get such a knot? Did I tie it in a special way?
I remember once after games, getting changed in the changing rooms and everyone turned to watch as I fastened my tie. There was me, fastening the tie in the mirror with all my school mates watching. I had become a sort of mini school celebrity: The kid with the trendy tie!
“Here it comes,” said someone as I made the final tie of the knot, “Super knot!”
Well, my fifteen minutes of fame came, went, and vanished as other people worked out how to make their own special ‘super knots.’ Jason King went on to star in his own spin-off TV series then he too vanished into TV’s Golden past. Fashion moved on and in the eighties ties went the other way; narrow thin ties were the norm. Trousers lost their flares, jacket lapels slimmed down once again. ‘Penny round’ shirts were forgotten but then, that’s the great thing about DVDs: pop your disc into the machine and you can experience it all again!
If you liked this nostalgic look at Jason King you’re sure to like my book. Look out for Floating in Space at amazon!
The funny things kids say!
I’ve not been lucky enough to have kids but many years ago I remember watching TV with my girlfriend’s daughter, Wendy. I can’t remember the film we were watching but the star was Christopher Reeve, most famous perhaps for playing the part of Superman. Wendy was wondering why he wasn’t ducking into a phone booth to change into Superman and streaking up into the air at the drop of a hat. Well, I thought, it’s time for a serious talk with Wendy about the movie world.
I explained, pretty thoughtfully I thought, about how movies were made, about cameras, shooting, screenplays and actors. Wendy seemed to take it all in but after a while she looked at me, looked back at Christopher Reeve and asked;
“Right, so he’s lost his powers then?”
Here’s another one. One day Tania, Liz’s daughter was asking for a drink of juice. She was very young at the time, just learning to talk so Liz filled her cup with juice and handed Tania the drink. She was expecting a word of thanks but when it wasn’t forthcoming Liz held onto the cup. Tania tugged harder, Liz waited for a thank you. Eventually she said; “Tania, what’s the magic word?”
Tania thought for a moment and replied “Abra cadabra!”
Kids. What funny things have your kids said?
Sunday Lunch with My Arch Enemy.
Sunday afternoon and my arch enemy is about to arrive. Zoe, Liz’s daughter has picked him up and I can hear them at the front door. I’ve lit the coal fire and done a quick tidy up and Zoe is showing him through. In the hallway he asks “Is the Mad Monk in?”
That’s me by the way, the Mad Monk.
“Bloody hell Zoe,” I say. “I had that door locked to keep the riff raff out!”
“Stephen,” he says using my Sunday name as he comes into the lounge. “We don’t mind slumming it with the riff-raff. Anyway, how lovely to see you!”
“Always a pleasure to see you, Harry,” I reply.
Harry is just approaching ninety years of age and all his faculties are in order although his memory is perhaps not as good as it used to be.
“Take a seat Harry,” I say. “What can I get you? A glass of water? Lemonade? A cup of tea perhaps?”
Harry turns to Zoe, a fake look of disdain on his face
“Pillock!” he murmurs.
Liz brings him a glass of French sherry..
“That’s more like it,” he says.
The women go off into the kitchen to sort the dinner and Harry and I chat about various things. Once Liz and Zoe come back though, we resume battle.
“Harry went for a brain operation the other day,” I announce, matter of factly. “It was free but they charged him £2000 search fees.”
“Dear me, I wish you’d try some new jokes Stephen,” comments Harry. “If you had a brain you’d be dangerous,”
Over seventy five years ago when war broke out Harry decided the army wasn’t for him so he went on a wireless operators course in Preston then signed up in the merchant navy as a ‘sparks’.
His first voyage took him down through the Mediterranean to the Persian Gulf and Iraq. One day while his ship was being refuelled he went for a walk and he heard a voice call his name. He turned to find one of his old schoolmates hailing him. Frank and Harry went to school together, both went to sea and bumped into each other in Basra, along the Shatt-Al-Arab river, a place Harry called the ‘arsehole of the world.’
Harry had no money on him but his friend Frank treated him to a meal and a few beers and they didn’t see each other until again until Harry’s fiftieth birthday, many years later.
“That doesn’t surprise me Harry,” I say. “That poor fella, having to pay for everything. No wonder he didn’t want to see you again.”
“Stephen. What you don’t realise is how hurtful insinuations like that are to a sensitive man like me.”
“I’ve not noticed your sensitive side Harry.”
“Well, you will in a minute if you don’t top my wine up, garcon!”
The wine is topped up and Liz calls for a ‘skivvy’ to help in the kitchen.
“That’s a good word for you Stephen, skivvy. Off you go and if you do a good job there might be a tip in it for you!”
Atlantic convoys during World War 2 were a lifeline for the UK. Bringing in food and supplies and munitions as we fought alone against the Nazis after the fall of France. U boats were a deadly menace to our ships and Harry told me once how he lay on his bunk shivering with fear during an attack. If a ship went down there was no one to help. Other ships couldn’t stop for survivors as they too might be torpedoed. After a while though Harry told me you just got used to the threat and got on with your job. He told me of trips to the Middle East taking tanks and equipment for the Middle Eastern campaigns. A trip from Argentina to the UK with a cargo of rice. A visit to Rio and a trip to New York.
We eat our Sunday dinner with little let up in the banter. Later when it’s time to go Harry turns to Liz and says “Lovely meal darling.” Then with a wink he says, “pity about the company though.”
So, let me wish you a super ninetieth birthday Harry, and let me give you the toast that you so often give to me,
“May your shadow never grow less.”
Letters from an Unknown Author! 